The Dichotomy of an Immigrant — The Accent!

“You have a really cute accent” — where is it from?

If I had a penny for every time, I was asked that question — I would be in Tahiti by now!

But what is my accent? Or the accents of many immigrants? Why is this important?

I was born in India — but did you know that even in India they have different accents? Just like in the United States — there is a distinct New York accent or a southern accent etc. even in India there are differences.

My family is from the south — so at home I grew up hearing the south Indian accent. I grew up and went to school in the northern part of India — so outside the house I grew up hearing the north India accent. And then there was my school itself — it was what we called an “Anglo Indian” school — an Indian school with British influence, founders, and teachers. So, at school I heard a British accent.

That should be confusing for any child. But wait… There are different languages and dialects and depending on what village/town/city/state you are in the spoken language and dialect may be different. GULP! It is a surprise I spoke at all.

My parents tell me that I started speaking very late — they were worried that I could not speak for a while — I think it was the confusion of all these languages, dialects, and accents. What language should I speak? Which dialect? What accent should I adopt? These might well confuddle a grown adult and I was but a child of 1 year. Rest assured my parents also said once I started speaking — I did not stop  I must have figured out something……

In the US — I get this comment all the time — where is your accent from? Heck if I know!!

There is a little bit of India — OH! and all over India — a little bit of Britain and a whole bit of American.

When I am in India, I am asked to repeat what I say because I have an American twang. Once I was even asked — Have you ever lived in India? — you sound totally American. Seriously???

When I am in the US — I am asked to repeat what I said because my India accent is thick — sure thing!!

Over the past 32 years, I believe I have found a way to deal with this. It is a very unconscious technique as my husband made mention of this to me. He can identify who I am speaking to on the phone based on the way I speak. Am I emphasizing my Indian tones or the American ones? Am I starting to roll the r’s a bit too much? Am I swallowing my T’s? Am I using words like Wonky? He can identify not just if I am speaking to an Indian or an American friend — he can tell you the name of the person I am speaking to. And yet I am unaware of this completely.

Growing up we used to speak what my father called Hingadda — a combination of Hindi, English and Kanadda (The language spoken at my home) and we did this unconsciously.

I realize that when I am with my American friends — I try to tamp down my Indian accent. I take care in the way I pronounce words. I focus on how I am saying my V’s and my W’s. I emphasize that I am American by adopting the American slang. When I am with my Indian friends all of this goes away. I want to be part of that group, so I mix up the V’s and the W’s and I start bringing in all the deep rolling of R’s etc.

This goes back to Belonging. Belonging is important to me. That is how I not just survived but thrived as an immigrant in my adopted country. My accent has provided me with an avenue to belong to the various groups I am part of.

My wish for me and others who deal with such a dilemma, is that what is said and NOT how it is said that is important. I wish pronunciation was not what people focused on. I wish incorrect use of an American slang did not make it its own joke. I wish not to be ridiculed just because I sound different. I wish I did not have to try so very hard to sound like everyone around me.